In the mood for a Man Vs. Nature drama?  Or maybe Greedy Corporate Officials Vs. Simple Natives?  How about Divorcing Couple Rekindles Their Love During Challenging Times?  Or maybe an Airborne Jet disaster film?  Another killer bees pic?  Lots of combat and explosions?  Prominent braless breasts straining against blouse material?  Rutger Hauer calling himself "an asshole"?

Writer/director Jeff "Tortoise Anda" Hare has you covered--all in one movie!

Flying Virus (released on DVD as Killer Buzz) takes viewers to the Brazilian rainforest, where life is cheap and location shooting is even cheaper.

Foreign Corporate Suits have cut a conservation deal with the locals, whose interference in oil-drilling operations has cost major corporations 14 billion bucks.  Are the petroleum-pumpers going to uphold their end of the bargain?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.  Just arrive on this planet, did you?

Concerned reporter Ann Bauer (Gabrielle Anwar, possessor of said breasts) is on the scene, as is sincere State Department rep Scott Turner (Jason Brooks), hoping to give the lovely journalist a lot more than scoops.

In short order, Ann is shot in the shoulder, bombarded by bees AND kissed on the lips by creepy medical researcher Dr. Steven North (puffy-faced David Naughton) while shes unconscious in the hospital--THEN has North's potentially even more inappropriate advances broken up by the arrival of Marty Bauer (Craig Sheffer), the husband she's divorcing, leading to a bitter argument between the couple, a jealous fit by hubby when Scott shows up with a bouquet for the babe he's looking to bed, and finally Ann kicking the soon-to-be-ex out of the ward.

So, what was the biz with the bees?  Dr. North and the medicos believe something in the stings is what's responsible for Ann's remarkably quick recovery from the rifle wound.  Wow, these little buzzers are miracle workers and may very well heal hundreds of woes!

Um, not quite.  It seems, after the attack, Ann was carted off by the mysterious Shadow People (hereafter referred to as SPs), native warriors so tough they, with simple bows-and-arrows, blowguns and spears, can bring the battle to automatic-weapon-equipped mercenaries with grenades powerful enough that a single one can either send ten stunt men, er, enemies sailing or make a hut burst into flames resembling a miniature nuclear blast.

These mercs are the minions of Ezekiel (Hauer), such a mean mofo, he'll shoot one of his own men to demonstrate he would have no qualms capping kids in a village he's taken over.  Zeke also informs viewers that the bees are bio-engineered to wipe out 100 percent of any town's population his unseen boss determines is interfering with the double-cross on the bogus treaty.  Guess that makes them the drillers' killers.

[Jerk count at this point is:  Ann's future former, Doc North, Ezekiel, his employer, Zeke's militia and the SPs.  Oh, and Ann's cameraman/driver Raka thought it was hilarious to open a champagne bottle emitting what sounded like a gunshot, the moment she took her first step out of the hospital.  You know--where she was being TREATED FOR A GUNSHOT WOUND.]

The recovering reporter has also figured out the bees are baddies and whatever happened where the SPs took her was what really sped up her healing.  Unfortunately for the rest of the world, devious Doctor North has bribed an airport worker into loading a case of the lethal buggers onto the plane he's taking to NYC, to sell the insects to the highest bidder.  Hey, whattaya know; it's the same flight being taken by hothead hubby Marty.

As always, the M-O-M No Spoilers policy remains in effect.  Nonetheless, snotty tenderoni Sandy's (Lisa Willhoit) surfboard is unsecured in a cargo compartment, a couple of feet from the big bee crate; there is still plenty of running time left; and, we are aboard a passenger jet.

I am quite confident you can guess what ensues, even "calling" certain developments.

Catching up on the characters:  In the air, we have the teen with the tude, Doc N, prototype awkward nerd Adam, a hipster who ties up the planes only toilet upon deciding he needs a shave while in-flight, and an incessantly griping bigmouth who tries bullying the sole stewardess.  Worst of all, theres a failure with facial scruff and a soul patch--the passenger I was praying would be the first to die (preferably, painfully.)

Back on terra firma, Ezekiel is still being "an asshole," his revealed employer is following suit, and we have met Savior (Duncan Regher), For Reasons Unexplained But Totally Not Racist white man messiah of the SPs, a misogynist referring to those outside the tribe as soulless "blank people."

At this juncture, no one would blame you for pulling for the plane to crash directly where Ezekiel, Savior, et al have congregated.

However...Flying Virus is so over-the-top with everything, it has a weird charm.  In some respects, it is reminiscent of a Sharknado entry, the B-I-G difference being that FV gives no indication its attempting to be spoofy.  

Although some things are eventually clarified much later, a viewer spends loads of time wondering "What the hell is going on?"  Take, for instance, the scene wherein a leopard about to dine on Ann and Raka is gang-swarmed by the bees--an incident that is NEVER explained or even referenced thereafter.

And it is this intense level of WTFing that makes Flying Virus highly recommended viewing for fellow junkfilm junkies.

Snooty Sandy is one of nearly 30 passengers aboad the jet--> 

You are watching a movie with that title.  As such, you should not only expect but also relish moments such as the missile launched at the plane being twice the size of the helicopter firing it, and a geek with a laptop and no passwords easily generating false tracking signals of a major airline passenger jet. 

Junkfilms are to be enjoyed, not micro-analyzed.  Savor the stupidity, preposterous plot line holes and double-dumb dialogue.  Nobody, including the participants believes these are Great Works Of Art.  I know; I've spent countless hours speaking and writing to the people who made junkfilms.

So, grab your honey (Get it?  Because its a bee movie, teeheehee), turn your TV on and your brain off.

It could probably use a little vacation.

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